me trying to wrap a christmas present
- I’ll compliment your mother on her home.
- I’ll talk sports with your dad.
- I’ll play games with your little siblings.
- I’ll do dishes after meeting your family for the first time.
- Befriend your pet.
- Fuck the living hell out of you and tie you up when we get home.
- Play with you while at the dinner table.
- Have a quickie with you in your childhood bathroom.
All this while your family falls in love with me and my shit eating grin.
the main thing i hate about christmas is the fact i am too poor to buy lovely gifts for all the sweet people in my life that deserve them